Daily Zude: Jude & Zero Quotes
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team_zudeYou know you're obsessed when . . .
Season Two
2.01 Game Changer
Zero (during press conference): I’m thrilled and humbled to be a part of this amazing organization. I know what it’s like to win a ring; I just hope I can bring some of that magic to LA. I’d like to thank the two people who brought me here – Jude, junior agent, a rock star at my agency, and God. With him, all things are possible.
Jude (to Oscar): I haven’t always felt welcome here on my own.
Lionel: Relax boys, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.
Jelena: You’re a fraud. Other people might not see through you, but I do.
Zero: I’m just trying to get the mst out of life.
Jelena: The most endorsements.
Jelena (to Zero): I’m way too much woman for you.
Jude (to Lionel): . . . would make Oscar very happy, and making Oscar happy would make me happy.
Jude (to Lionel re Pete & Raquel): Don’t worry, I’m on it.
Jelena (to Ahsha): Sometimes the worst thing you can do to someone is hurt the person they love the most.
2.02 Passing
Oscar (to Jude): This is a PR nightmare.
Oscar: I need a hand, Jude, not a hand job.
Jude: What can I do?
Oscar: Get the word out – anyone divulging Devils business will be dealt with. Can you do that?
Jude: Absolutely.
Zero: I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m worth millions.
Jelena: I don’t know if you’ve heard, but that doesn’t impress me. Sorry, junior, yo’ure nto tall enough to ride this ride.
Zero: A private jet is waiting to fly us to Cabo right now.
Jelena: Tweet me the pics.
Lionel: Nice shiner.
Jude: See how far I’ll go for you?
Lionel (sees Pete and Raquel together): Apparently not far enough.
Jude: Give it time.
(Zero rushes up to hearse as casket is being unloaded)
Terrence: Where have you been?
Zero: Getting closer to god.
Derek (re Jude’s eye): What’s that about?
Jude: Eh, fighting the good fight.
2.03 Behind The Back
Oscar: Can you handle that?
Jude: Consider it done.
Zero: I can see Derek and Terrence are on shaky ground.
Jude: Now do you see why I sold you so hard on LA? It’s the land of opportunity.
(Zero is called away for photoshoot, slaps Jude’s butt when he leaves)
Jelena: Now look who’s clingy.
Zero: Stay. What could be more satisfying than laying naked with me?
Jelena: I don’t want or need you to buy me things. Back off.
Zero: You are so cold it’s almost sociopathic.
2.04 Full-Court Press
Jude (to Derek): I think you’re overestimating the pull I have with Oscar.
Derek: Jude, anytime I’ve needed something, you’ve come through for me. You need to come through for me again.
Zero: I don’t want to be seen as the new guy stirring things up.
German: So you want the other new guy to stir things up.
Jelena: I’m leaving.
Zero: The Jelena and Zero show just started.
Jude: Sure thing, Oscar. I’d do anything for you.
2.05 Shattered Glass
Derek: She knew about the coke.
Jude: She knew I got it for you.
Jude: I have your back, but you have to have mine if anyone starts asking questions.
Derek: I’ve got your back.
Escort (sees Jelena on cover of magazine): Isn’t that your girlfriend?
Zero: Not tonight.
2.06 Blow Out
Pete: I’m supposed to say something biting about Derek. I don’t bite.
Lionel: I recall differently.
(Zero removes shirt)
Hank: You know I’m not just talking about the shirt, don’t you?
Zero (undoing his pants): Oh, I know.
Raquel: You’re really nothing like your dad.
Jude: What do you know about Oscar?
Raquel: Nothing . . . I was just . . . I don’t know why I said that.
Jude: Okay.
2.07 Isolation
Jude: We need to talk. What were you thinking, getting in a fight with Derek at the Roast?
Zero: He was out of control, he came at me . . .
Jude: This is me you’re talking to. Derek’s a client at my agency, too. You need to be more careful, or I have to deal with the blowback.
Zero: Jude, you and I came into this with a plan. You need to trust it.
Jude: Just be careful. I risked a lot for you.
Zero: Relax. I got you.
Jude: I’m not doing this for me, I’m doing this for Oscar.
Raquel: You go out of your way a lot for him.
Jude (to Raquel): Knowing I’m earning my father’s respect and that it wasn’t just gifted to me as a child means it’s genuine.
Zero (to Jelena): I didn’t come to the Devils to play back up to Terrence Wall, I came to take over.
Zero (to Jelena): I chased you because you’re the biggest trophy in Los Angeles. Terrence will always find fault with you, always want you to be someone else, but I see you for who you really are. It’s exactly who I want you to be.
Zero: You could run this city with me. Not just sports, everything. I’m offering you everything. What’s he offering? It’s him or me, Jelena. Think real hard.
Pete: Is divorce sex a thing? Because if it’s not, it should be.
Lionel: Well, technically we’re not divorced. You haven’t signed the papers yet.
Pete: Mmmhmm. One thing at a time.
Raquel (to Sloane): I’m still in this with you, we’re still gonna take Oscar down.
Jude: Take Oscar down? I don’t think my father would like that very much.
2.08 Playing Dirty
Raquel (to Jude, after he threatens to tell her secret): I was wrong, you are your father.
Zero: Let me speed things along. Recently I’ve found myself at the hub of a whole bunch of key Devils plays.
Jelena: What’s your point?
Zero: The point is, if I wanted to, I could make playoffs go in a really bad direction. I already have a championship ring. I could get over the loss. Could Terrence?
Jelena: You’d throw an entire season?
Zero: I know this sounds like hardball, but really it’s flirtation. The Jelena Howard I know gets off on a good power play.
Zero (to Jelena): A game of seconds, huh. Hesitate too long, you lose.
(Zero drives up in a black Porsche)
Jude: Another Porsche?
Zero: Nope. This one’s yours. I thought you’d like the color, dark and tortured, just like you. (Tosses keys to Jude) I had a conversation with the agency, talked to the partners, made it official. My agent doesn’t tool around in a crap box.
Jude: Your agent?
Zero: Goodbye junior agent, hello my main, number one guy.
(Sitting in the Porsche)
Zero: I’d never be here in LA with the world at my feet if it wasn’t for you. You still Team Zero?
Jude: Abso-freaking-lutely!
Zero: Good. Now drive me to the arena, you lazy bitch.
(Zero confronted with a group of reporters at Arena)
Reporter #1: So LA madam [Callie Malina] didn’t supply you with girls?
Zero: Where is this coming from?
Reporter 2: A leaked e-mail linked you to her, and we tracked her down and when we showed it to her, she said you were a reg–.
Zero: I don’t care what she or anyone said, it’s a mistake.
Reporter #1: How did your sponsors react?
Zero: There’s nothing to react to, hand to god.
Reporter #2: What would you say to people who say that your bible thumping, Christian lifestyle is a calculated lie?
Zero: So what people know that the god thing was an act. I’ll get ‘em back. People love a reformed sinner if you cry hard enough. If that doesn’t work, win a championship. People forget! I’ll be fine! We’ll be fine.
Jelena: I don’t know, that was pretty devastating. I don’t think you’ll ever recover.
Zero: You set me up.
Jelena: You asked me to choose; I chose.
Raquel: What’s more important, Jude, protecting Oscar, or saving yourself?
(In limo, after Zero is implicated in a prostitution scandal)
Zero: She took my reputation. All my sponsors.
Jude: I’ll figure something out. We’ll fix it.
Zero: This is beyond fixing. I’ve lost everything.
Jude: Listen to me. Listen to me. I was Team Zero before, and I’m Team Zero now. We’re in this together. Okay? I would never leave you.
Zero: No, you wouldn’t; you never have. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jude.
(Zero lays his hand on Jude’s leg, Jude kisses him)
Zero: Jude!
2.09 Unguarded
(Jude kisses Zero in limo)
Zero: Jude! You’re gay!
Jude: What? I’m not gay.
Zero: You kissed me.
Jude: No I didn’t. Not like that. You were upset, I just . . .
Zero: You kissed me on the mouth. Jude, it’s cool. You’re barking up the wrong tree, but clearly barking.
Jude: I’m not barking at anything.
Zero: I gotta get on the plane. Jude, it’s fine. You’re gay. Be gay! (gets out of limo)
Jude (leans across seat to yell): I’m not gay!
Jude (re photoshoot): Hey! Why are you sitting there? This is Inside Sports Network, it’s the skin issue of their magazine. You’re supposed to be out there.
Zero: I’m knee deep in prostitutes. Thinking ‘naked and greased up’ isn’t the image I should be going with right now. Everyone else seems to agree.
Jude: I don’t care about everyone else. Business as usual is exactly the image you should be going with.
Jude (after speaking with photographer’s assistant): Get in there.
Zero: You sure you’re not doing this to get me naked?
Jude: Ha, ha.
Zero (taking off his shirt): Wanna oil me up?
Lionel: What have you been up to?
Jude (shares a look with Zero behind her back): Nothing.
Jude: Why aren’t you dressed? We have a Devils party to get to; everyone’s gonna be there.
Zero: I’m not really in a party mood.
Jude: This isn’t about chips and dip. This is the first step in rebuilding. Before the public can rally behind you, you need to get back in good with the players. You have no friends in the locker room; you need them. (Takes magazine out of Zero’s hand) I’m still your agent; you have to listen to me if we’re going to fix this.
Zero: You seem antsier than usual. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you have your own reasons to get to this party.
Jude: I maybe told someone I’d be there.
Zero: Who?
Jude: Danny, the photographer’s assistant from the shoot.
Zero (trying on Jude’s shirts): Do you have anything else?
Jude: You look pretty, let’s go. While there’s still a party to go to.
Zero: I’m sure Danny the photographer’s assistant will be fine.
Jude: Sounds like you’re jealous.
Zero: Really, Jude? What’s next, you gonna double dog dare me to go?
Jude: Do you not want to go to the party, or do you not want me to go to the party?
Zero: No one’s stopping you.
Jude: If I did kiss you on purpose in that car, and I’m not saying I did, it’s not because I was crazy, it’s not because I was going off of nothing. (Zero remains silent) Fine. You know what, have it your way. Danny’s waiting.
Zero (stops Jude with hand to his chest): You don’t even know the guy.
Jude: I’m about to.
(When Jude starts to leave again, Zero kisses him)
2.10 Steal
(Zero starts getting dressed immediately after they have sex)
Jude: So that’s it?
Zero: You seemed pretty satisfied a minute ago.
Jude: What are we doing?
Zero: Having a good time.
Jude: You’ve done this, had a good time, with a guy before?
Zero: I’ve been with men. And women. And men and women. It’s not deep, Jude, because I don’t make it deep. I don’t do relationships.
Jude: That’s funny, ‘cause it seemed the minute you met Jelena you were trying to lock her down.
Zero: That was part of the plan.
Jude: Falling for her wasn’t. Makes me wonder if you’re only here with me because you can’t be with her.
Zero: And that’s why I don’t do relationships. I can’t deal with conversations like this. The only thing that matters right now is busting open the rift between Derek and Terrence. We can keep having fun, or not, up to you.
Lionel: Drama free. Unless you’re seeing someone.
Jude: Actually, I am seeing someone. But they won’t care. They don’t seem to be the, uh, possessive type.
Lionel: You said ‘they’ twice. You’re playing the pronoun game. My brother played the pronoun game, wound up married to a gay biker in Providence. You’re loving on a guy.
Jude (considers whether he should tell her): Not a biker in Providence, but yeah, it’s a guy.
Lionel: Oh, you have to take me to the premiere now! You’re tolerable, you’re handsome, you’re not gonna try to get me into bed. You’re the perfect date.
(During an awful practice)
Pete (to Terrence and Derek): Something I should know about?
Terrence: What do you mean?
Pete: It’s dragging ass out there.
Lionel: I’m not interested in what turns you on, or anything else about you.
Oscar: You’ll be back. I tend to be right about these things.
Derek: Man, I got six parties I could be at, what’s so important?
Jude: Chase Vincent’s out of jail. The police are working on rebuilding their case against him, which means new digging.
Derek: You think they might find out about us and the coke?
Jude: Olivia was blackmailing both of us, the police will be double checking every napkin she ever scribbled on. Who knows what they’ll find. I don’t even have an alibi for the night she died. Do you?
Derek: No, I don’t.
Jude: Well, maybe we could help each other out. I could be your alibi, and you can be mine.
Derek: Cool.
Jude (notices Zero’s keys on the coffee table): We’ll figure out the details tomorrow.
(Zero steps out of the bathroom after Derek leaves)
Jude: I didn’t realize you were here.
Zero: I was in the shower. You just get in?
Jude: Yeah. Yeah. I’m gonna jump in the shower. Then we can celebrate that win.
(Zero’s calculating expression when Jude leaves indicates that he overheard his conversation with Derek)
2.11 Sudden Death
Jude: Pretty nasty rumor about Terrence.
Zero: No-o-ot a rumor.
Jude: You did this. What do you know?
Zero: Well, let’s just say, the Wall is coming down. Get it?
Jude (hesitates): Wouldn’t Derek be the better target? If Terrence is injured, isn’t Derek the bigger threat?
Zero: I don’t have anything on Derek.
Oscar (to Jelena): If I thought someone was making trouble for me, I might have to make trouble for them right back.
Jude: I can’t let him be taken down, Lionel; he’s my father.
Lionel: He is a sperm donor.
Zero: Hey, boss. Figured I’d get in a little extra practice. Maybe get you a fancy banner for the new arena.
Oscar: You’ll have to wait for Derek to finish his interview. Thanks to Terrence’s injury, there may be new king on the throne.
Oscar (to Kyle): I’m about to enter some tricky negotiations. I need to make sure they go my way.
Terrence: Somehow he heard we weren’t getting along so great.
(Derek looks like he knows how Zero might’ve found that out)
Jude: Derek, hey.
Derek: You and Zero.
Jude: What?
Derek: What did you promise him to get him to LA?
Jude: Promise? He signed a thirty million . . . .
Derek: He’s been playing me and Terrence against each other since day one. Why would he think he could do that? The only ones who knew how bad things were between me and T were me, T, and you.
Jude: Derek . . . .
Derek: You went from a desk jockey to his agent; from a bus pass to tooling around in a brand new Porsche with his name on the pink slip.
Jude: I’m good at my job.
Derek: Deny it again. (Jude remains silent) Does he know about the coke?
Jude: No. Derek, come on, this is, we need each other. You’re my alibi for Olivia, I’m yours.
Derek: Screw that.
Jude: Derek! I’m dealing with something right now, and if you take away my alibi on top of that, I’m under water.
Derek: Drown bitch.
Terrence (to Zero): Win or lose, when this is over, I’m gonna put my fist through your bleach blond head.
Sloane (to Lionel): You’re a deluded actress who’s convinced herself this role is hers.
Jude: I agonized over this, but I finally decided I have to tell you something, something that I’ve known about for a while and I should’ve told you sooner no matter what it cost me.
Oscar: I know.
Jude: You do?
Oscar: Before the ground breaking I had Olivia followed. I know she met with you. I assumed she was holding something over you, trying to get you to turn against me.
Jude: Yeah, but I never would have.
Oscar: The thing is, with Chase Vincent exonerated, anyone Olivia threatened becomes a suspect in her murder.
Jude: You think I killed Olivia?
Oscar: I don’t really know you, Jude, so I had you checked out. And now I know what she threatened you with. Your neighbor says you have a regular visitor, a gentleman. Apparently your walls are thin and the two of you are rather loud. If you thought confessing your secret gay life was going to bond us, then you know me about as well as I know you. Your mother was a simple woman who knew her limitations. She was too small for the big life I was making, so she gave up and moved on. You’ve been trying to take after me; you should try to take after her. You will never have my approval.
Jude: Dad, I . . . .
Oscar: I don’t have a son. I assume that’s all you came to say.
Jude: Yeah, that’s all.
Oscar: I knew someone was poking into my business; you I was not expecting.
Lionel: You need to be a better judge of character. There’s more going on under your nose than you realize. Oscar, you have a problem. As luck would have it, I have the exact same problem. And together we’re going to make it go away.
Jude: I don’t have a son. That’s how he said it, just like that. Like nothing. I keep reaching out to people, to you, Oscar. Just once, I want someone to reach back.
(Zero gets the red envelope out of the drawer, drops it on floor between Jude’s feet, and sits on the floor next to Jude)
Jude (picks up the envelope): You heard my conversation with Derek about the coke. You could’ve used it to hurt him, but you didn’t, ‘cause it would hurt me.
Zero: Don’t make a thing out of it. My folks gave me up. To foster parents who collected kids to collect the checks. You think I came up with Zero? That’s what they called me, zero. I kept it. I showed them how big zero could be.
Jude: What’s your real name?
Zero: I’m telling you this for a reason, okay. Just because people are supposed to care about you doesn’t mean they will. The sooner you forget about Oscar, the better off you’ll be.
Jude: You have no idea what I’ve done for that man.
2.12 Winner Takes All
Ahsha (to Jelena): You could stand to dance like it’s your last time, too. Everyone retires eventually.
Zero: Did you close any of those endorsement deals? I mean, negotiations are taking forever.
Jude: You’re still in PR jail. It’s gonna take more than the possibility of a championship to push the boulder up the hill. It’s gonna take more than a ring. If you want your life back, you need MVP.
Zero: You’re wound tight, even for you. Something happen today?
(Walking up sidewalk to Oscar and Lionel’s wedding)
Zero: Relax, you’re sweating through your suit.
Jude: Sorry, the last time I was here I was being disowned.
Zero: And now you’re Lionel’s special guest.
Girl (to Zero): Can I take your coat?
Jude: It’s a suit.
Girl: Or anything else?
Jude: He has crabs. Excuse me.
Lionel: Maybe I put myself on the edge of a cliff so someone would have to come save me, like I’ve always saved them.
Pete: I’m sorry, Lionel, but I cannot save you from this one.
Lionel: Well, then, the wedding’s about to start.
Jude: This is messed up, you realize that, right? The fact that this is the first conversation we’re having about this is a sing of how truly messed up this is. What the hell are you thinking?
Lionel: That this is an awfully short aisle.
Oscar: Sometimes when someone asks you to marry them, you just can’t say no.
Lionel: You look dapper, too. I’m sorry about not signing the pre-nup. My pen just ran out of in.
Oscar: Of course. Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?
Lionel: I do.
Lionel (to Oscar): I’ll call your lawyer, don’t worry! (Winks at Jude)
Lionel: Thank you for being so cooperative, Sloane. For coming to a wedding you shouldn’t have been invited to, for stealing a microphone I couldn’t have hidden in plainer sight, and for getting rid of Oscar for who knows how long.
Lionel (to Sloane): If it were up to me, I would let Oscar devour you.
(In locker room after game)
Jude: Congratulations. You’re number two.
Zero: I didn’t come here to be some schmuck on a team. I came here to be the star; that’s what you promised me. Instead, I lost everything.
Jude: You can’t blame me for that. You were the one who got caught with your pants down, on more than one occasion.
Zero: Are you still angry about that girl I flirted with at the wedding?
Jude: What makes you think that?
Zero: I lied to everyone else but you. I told you I don’t do relationships.
Jude: No. You don’t do relationships with guys. I do. You know how I know? Because I want one. With you. After the game, all I wanted to do was kiss you. And what would you have done? You would’ve freaked. Not because people would think you were gay, or bi, or whatever you are, but because they would see an ounce of anything real from you. You’re so full of crap. One disguise after another. You’re buried so deep in there, you don’t even know yourself.
Zero: You just figured out you’re gay, or whatever . . . .
Jude: Not ‘or whatever’.
Zero: . . . and you’re coming down on me?
Jude: You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m mad. Mad at myself. Mad at this situation. Mad that I need something from you. Mad that . . . I can’t get it. Most of all, I’m mad that there’s nothing I can do about anything. (Turns to leave)
Zero (stops him): Where are you going? You’re my agent.
Jude: I’m done settling for percentages. Percentages of my father, percentages of you. I want it all, and I can’t stick around waiting for it. (Walks away)
Zero: Gideon.
Jude (stops, turns): What?
Zero: That’s my name. Gideon.
Jude (smiles): I would love to take Gideon on a date. To a public place. And listen to him tell me exactly who he is. If you want that, give me a call sometime.
Season Three
(4 months later, Zero calls Jude to photoshoot)
Zero: Jude, glad you came.
Jude: Yeah, I’d hate to have missed this.
Zero: Two titles and suddenly sin is in. I’ve got a beer campaign tomorrow, Trojan commercial in the afternoon, and this is my new underwear line. What do you think?
Jude: I can’t help but notice there’s only girls in the picture.
Zero: I’m all the man it needs.
Jude: Looks like you’re killing it. Congratulations.
Zero: We could be killing it together. That’s why I called you here. I want you to be my agent again, help me rake in al this cash.
Jude: I know what you want.
Zero: it’s business, Jude. Unless you don’t think you can keep it just business. I’m making more money than ever. This would be huge for you.
Jude: You should have them put more bronzer on you. There’s only so much photoshop can do. (Walks away)
Zero: You didn’t say no!
Jude: I didn’t say yes, either!
Jude: I can’t be your agent.
Zero: Why not?
Jude: Lionel offered me a job with The Devils.
Zero: That’s why you won’t work with me?
Jude: I’ve always wanted to be a part of The Devils. She offered me EVP. I can’t turn it down.
Zero: EVP. That’d make you my boss. That’s hot.
Jude: What are you saying?
Lionel: I’m saying, get back in there, hike up your skirt, and get that guy what he wants. Buy him drinks, you charm him, you take it from there.
Jude: I don’t charm people, okay, I’m not a charmer. This is ridiculous.
Lionel: This is Derek Roman’s deal, now you put on your big girl panties and you figure it out.
(Zero interrupts Jude’s ‘meeting’ with Lucas)
Zero: What?
Jude: We both know what you just did and why you did it. You won’t be with me the way I want, but you don’t want me with anyone else.
Jude (to Lucas): I’ve never been to that bar. I always wanted to go with my ex, but . . . Well, he’s not really my ex, we were never really together. I mean, we were together . . .
Jude (to Lucas): This guy, he was everything to me. I was in love with him before I even knew what love was. Something blinds you like that, it takes a while for your eyes to adjust again, ‘til you can see anything else, you know?
Jude (re Oscar): I’m not gonna let him use me like that. I’m not gonna be an afterthought.
Zero: I can’t even imagine you being an afterthought. I think about you first all the time.
Jude: You’re the most screwed up person I’ve ever met. And the only person that makes me feel normal.
(Getting dressed after they have sex in the coat closet)
Zero: I missed you, Jude.
Jude: I missed you, too.
Zero: Should I leave first, or should you? (Sees Jude’s face) What? What did I do?
Jude: It’s not what you did, it’s what I did. What I keep doing. Nothing’s changed. It’s the same old story.
Zero: What are you talking about?
Jude: I’m still your secret! Something you have to hide.
Zero: You’re being dramatic.
Jude: We’re literally in a closet together. Unless you have something new to offer me, leave me alone. If you care about me at all, stay away.
Zero: I love you! Alright. I-I love you, stupid.
Jude: I love you, too. But even still, it doesn’t matter. Love isn’t enough. I need someone I can actually be with, like a normal person. Someone whose able to be there for me in evyer way. Can you? Can you do that?
Zero: no.
(Lucas tells Zero he slept with Jude, and that he’s planning to stand him up)
Lucas: Jude’s used to disappointment. He’ll be fine.
(On basketball court right after game)
Jude: I can’t talk now, I’m meeting someone.
Zero: Lucas isn’t coming.
Jude: Why not?
Zero: ‘Cause I told him not to.
(Zero kisses Jude)
(Talking about reporters wanting interviews while lying in bed)
Zero: Every move I’ve ever made has been planned out in advance. Kissing you, was not. But it’s all going to have to wait.
Jude: Why?
Zero: Because I’m busy.
(They kiss)
Jude: I know you’re pissed. And I don’t blame you. You did this amazing thing for me, and I never thought about how it would affect you, too. I get why you would regret being with me.
Zero: I don’t regret being with you. I regret letting everyone else in on it. I liked it when it was just us. I don’t like losing that.
Jude: You haven’t. Everything we’re going through is only gonna make more of us, not less. We’re still in this together. It’s still just you and me.
Zero: For two people who are in it together, I sure am alone in this tub.
(Zero takes selfie of him and Jude in tub)
Jude (re reporters): Now you’re just goading them.
Zero: Yes, yes I am.
Lionel: I’m so happy Jude’s found love. I didn’t think it would be with you.
Zero: Me either.
Lionel: If you hurt him, I’ll drive my car so far up your ass you’ll taste wiper fluid. Great party.
Jude: You want to cash in on coming out without actually coming out.
Zero: Were we at the same party?
Jude: I don’t mean coming out as gay, I mean coming out as Gideon. People care about your story.
(Outside Zero’s childhood foster home)
Jude: You’re strong, you can handle this. (Zero makes a face) You don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this.
Zero: I didn’t say that.
Jude: Unbelievable. (Gets out of car and stomps up to house)
Zero: I have feelings.
Jude: So.
Zero: So, I control them so they don’t control me.
Jude: They’re controlling you now.
Zero: I’m not gonna lose it, Jude. Especially not in front of you.
Jude: Especially? Why?
Zero: Because you might not like what you see.
(Jude goes out to car to get sledgehammer, goads Zero into smashing the place up to let off steam)
(Jude sets up doubles double date with board member Marcus)
Zero: You want me to be the little wifey?
Jude: More like the big bad baller.
Zero (re tennis ability): I never said I was good.
Jude: Marcus is gonna meet with the board.
Zero: Wifey came through.
Jude: Wifey came through.
(Zero tells Jude why he can’t intrude on his sister’s life)
Zero: Besides, I realized, I already have a family. You.
(Zero finds out he’s been traded)
Zero (to Jude): We’ll find a better house wherever we wind up. You’ll run that town.
(Jude says he can’t leave because of Lionel)
Zero: Well, if I have to go, and you have to stay, where does that leave us?
3.11 ‘Til Death Do Us Part (Summer Special):
Detective: You have quite the history with Miss Howard, huh? Some of it pretty public.
Zero: Find somebody who didn’t have history with her.
Detective: You seem tense.
Jude: I always seem tense, but I’m fine.
Detective: Word from the hospital; it looks like Miss Howard is gonna pull through.
Zero: Too bad whoever did it wasn’t a better shot.
Oscar: Lionel, thank you for coming.
Lionel: I’d say ‘my pleasure’, but if we don’t have honesty, what do we have?
Oscar (to Lionel re Jelena): I probably would’ve shot her before the end of the night, but regrettably, someone beat me to it.
Oscar: I expect you to clear that up now.
Lionel: Well, I would, but I’m not feeling particularly generous towards you right now.
Oscar: What do you want to make your story go away?
Lionel: A divorce. And leave me alone. And leave Jude alone.
Oscar (to Lionel): Pete’s a fool.
(Zero casually leans against stall while Jude is showering)
Jude: New haircut!
Zero: Are you singing?
Jude: Humming. With Jelena sidelined, your trade wasn’t completed. You’re staying a Devil.
Zero: You don’t say.
Jude: I told you last night; no one can split this team up.
(Jude pulls Zero into the shower for some hot shower sex)
(Looking over blueprints for the house renovation in Jude’s office; Zero is nuzzling Jude’s neck)
Jude: The fireplace will go here, the guest room will go here, here, and here. And the baby’s room will go here.
Zero (stops nuzzling): What, the what?
Jude (chuckles): Just seeing if you’re paying attention.
Jelena (from doorway): Where does the vomitorium go?
Jelena: I could’ve sworn I traded you.
Zero: Almost. Timing’s everything.
Jelena: Lucky you. I hope you like being demoted to team bitch. I’ll make you a t-shirt.
Jelena: You’re good, Jude. You were the only one with your head in the game when I was buying up the team. I’m keeping you on. You’ll be working for me.
Zero: What the hell just happened?
Jude: Jelena’s back, that’s what happened.
Zero: I don’t know anything about a 24-hour deadline.
Detective: No, you might not, but Jude would. How well do you really know Oscar Kinkade’s son?
Zero: Well enough to know he’s not Oscar Kinkade.
Detective: How’d he grow up?
Zero: With nothing.
Detective: And right before Jelena Howard got shot, that’s exactly what he thought he was left with. No Devils, no you.
Zero: You’ve got the wrong guy.
Jude: Hey. I was just meeting with the contractor. The house is a war zone. With all this work Jelena dumped on me I’m lucky I get there at all.
Zero: You don’t have to take all that on, you know.
Jude: You gave me a house; I wanna give you a home. Everything you’ve done for me, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.
Lionel: Thank you for sticking by me, Jude. Making sure I was okay. I may no longer be your step-mom, but I will always be your hag.
Jude: My hag?
Lionel: Jude, do I have to teach you everything gay?
Zero (approaches): Lionel.
Lionel: You two are so adorable together. I just want to eat your faces. Seriously. I need booze.
Jude (re next season): I hope we’ll be living in our new house by then.
Zero: Yeah, me too. I came up with a new story for you to tell the police. I’ll tell it, too, so you won’t have to worry about anything.
Jude: A new story for what?
Zero: The night Jelena was shot.
Jude: Why would I need a new story? (Zero gives him a look) Wait, you think I would shoot someone?
Zero: I kn–, I know that there’s nothing that you wouldn’t do for me.
Jude: You think I would shoot someone for you?
Zero: No. Maybe. I thought . . .
Jude: You would’ve lied for me?
Zero: Yeah, yeah. That’s what we do, we lie for each other. You’ve been playing catch-up your whole life because somebody left you; I’d never do that to you. No matter what.
Jude: You’re the single greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, Gideon.
Zero: You too, stupid. (Jude smiles) You’re the single greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, too, Jude.
(Jude smiles bigger and kisses Zero)
Jelena (to Jude, Zero & Kyle): All the jockeying to rule this town; me and Terrence, me and you, Derek and Ahsha – in the end you and Jude wound up King and King of LA. But make no mistake, I’m still Queen. Devil’s Nation, rise up.
ETA: Updated S2 quotes 8/13/16; will update S3 quotes once I get the eps in my hot little hands.
ETA2: Added quotes from ep 3.11 9/7/16.
Season Two
2.01 Game Changer
Zero (during press conference): I’m thrilled and humbled to be a part of this amazing organization. I know what it’s like to win a ring; I just hope I can bring some of that magic to LA. I’d like to thank the two people who brought me here – Jude, junior agent, a rock star at my agency, and God. With him, all things are possible.
Jude (to Oscar): I haven’t always felt welcome here on my own.
Lionel: Relax boys, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.
Jelena: You’re a fraud. Other people might not see through you, but I do.
Zero: I’m just trying to get the mst out of life.
Jelena: The most endorsements.
Jelena (to Zero): I’m way too much woman for you.
Jude (to Lionel): . . . would make Oscar very happy, and making Oscar happy would make me happy.
Jude (to Lionel re Pete & Raquel): Don’t worry, I’m on it.
Jelena (to Ahsha): Sometimes the worst thing you can do to someone is hurt the person they love the most.
2.02 Passing
Oscar (to Jude): This is a PR nightmare.
Oscar: I need a hand, Jude, not a hand job.
Jude: What can I do?
Oscar: Get the word out – anyone divulging Devils business will be dealt with. Can you do that?
Jude: Absolutely.
Zero: I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m worth millions.
Jelena: I don’t know if you’ve heard, but that doesn’t impress me. Sorry, junior, yo’ure nto tall enough to ride this ride.
Zero: A private jet is waiting to fly us to Cabo right now.
Jelena: Tweet me the pics.
Lionel: Nice shiner.
Jude: See how far I’ll go for you?
Lionel (sees Pete and Raquel together): Apparently not far enough.
Jude: Give it time.
(Zero rushes up to hearse as casket is being unloaded)
Terrence: Where have you been?
Zero: Getting closer to god.
Derek (re Jude’s eye): What’s that about?
Jude: Eh, fighting the good fight.
2.03 Behind The Back
Oscar: Can you handle that?
Jude: Consider it done.
Zero: I can see Derek and Terrence are on shaky ground.
Jude: Now do you see why I sold you so hard on LA? It’s the land of opportunity.
(Zero is called away for photoshoot, slaps Jude’s butt when he leaves)
Jelena: Now look who’s clingy.
Zero: Stay. What could be more satisfying than laying naked with me?
Jelena: I don’t want or need you to buy me things. Back off.
Zero: You are so cold it’s almost sociopathic.
2.04 Full-Court Press
Jude (to Derek): I think you’re overestimating the pull I have with Oscar.
Derek: Jude, anytime I’ve needed something, you’ve come through for me. You need to come through for me again.
Zero: I don’t want to be seen as the new guy stirring things up.
German: So you want the other new guy to stir things up.
Jelena: I’m leaving.
Zero: The Jelena and Zero show just started.
Jude: Sure thing, Oscar. I’d do anything for you.
2.05 Shattered Glass
Derek: She knew about the coke.
Jude: She knew I got it for you.
Jude: I have your back, but you have to have mine if anyone starts asking questions.
Derek: I’ve got your back.
Escort (sees Jelena on cover of magazine): Isn’t that your girlfriend?
Zero: Not tonight.
2.06 Blow Out
Pete: I’m supposed to say something biting about Derek. I don’t bite.
Lionel: I recall differently.
(Zero removes shirt)
Hank: You know I’m not just talking about the shirt, don’t you?
Zero (undoing his pants): Oh, I know.
Raquel: You’re really nothing like your dad.
Jude: What do you know about Oscar?
Raquel: Nothing . . . I was just . . . I don’t know why I said that.
Jude: Okay.
2.07 Isolation
Jude: We need to talk. What were you thinking, getting in a fight with Derek at the Roast?
Zero: He was out of control, he came at me . . .
Jude: This is me you’re talking to. Derek’s a client at my agency, too. You need to be more careful, or I have to deal with the blowback.
Zero: Jude, you and I came into this with a plan. You need to trust it.
Jude: Just be careful. I risked a lot for you.
Zero: Relax. I got you.
Jude: I’m not doing this for me, I’m doing this for Oscar.
Raquel: You go out of your way a lot for him.
Jude (to Raquel): Knowing I’m earning my father’s respect and that it wasn’t just gifted to me as a child means it’s genuine.
Zero (to Jelena): I didn’t come to the Devils to play back up to Terrence Wall, I came to take over.
Zero (to Jelena): I chased you because you’re the biggest trophy in Los Angeles. Terrence will always find fault with you, always want you to be someone else, but I see you for who you really are. It’s exactly who I want you to be.
Zero: You could run this city with me. Not just sports, everything. I’m offering you everything. What’s he offering? It’s him or me, Jelena. Think real hard.
Pete: Is divorce sex a thing? Because if it’s not, it should be.
Lionel: Well, technically we’re not divorced. You haven’t signed the papers yet.
Pete: Mmmhmm. One thing at a time.
Raquel (to Sloane): I’m still in this with you, we’re still gonna take Oscar down.
Jude: Take Oscar down? I don’t think my father would like that very much.
2.08 Playing Dirty
Raquel (to Jude, after he threatens to tell her secret): I was wrong, you are your father.
Zero: Let me speed things along. Recently I’ve found myself at the hub of a whole bunch of key Devils plays.
Jelena: What’s your point?
Zero: The point is, if I wanted to, I could make playoffs go in a really bad direction. I already have a championship ring. I could get over the loss. Could Terrence?
Jelena: You’d throw an entire season?
Zero: I know this sounds like hardball, but really it’s flirtation. The Jelena Howard I know gets off on a good power play.
Zero (to Jelena): A game of seconds, huh. Hesitate too long, you lose.
(Zero drives up in a black Porsche)
Jude: Another Porsche?
Zero: Nope. This one’s yours. I thought you’d like the color, dark and tortured, just like you. (Tosses keys to Jude) I had a conversation with the agency, talked to the partners, made it official. My agent doesn’t tool around in a crap box.
Jude: Your agent?
Zero: Goodbye junior agent, hello my main, number one guy.
(Sitting in the Porsche)
Zero: I’d never be here in LA with the world at my feet if it wasn’t for you. You still Team Zero?
Jude: Abso-freaking-lutely!
Zero: Good. Now drive me to the arena, you lazy bitch.
(Zero confronted with a group of reporters at Arena)
Reporter #1: So LA madam [Callie Malina] didn’t supply you with girls?
Zero: Where is this coming from?
Reporter 2: A leaked e-mail linked you to her, and we tracked her down and when we showed it to her, she said you were a reg–.
Zero: I don’t care what she or anyone said, it’s a mistake.
Reporter #1: How did your sponsors react?
Zero: There’s nothing to react to, hand to god.
Reporter #2: What would you say to people who say that your bible thumping, Christian lifestyle is a calculated lie?
Zero: So what people know that the god thing was an act. I’ll get ‘em back. People love a reformed sinner if you cry hard enough. If that doesn’t work, win a championship. People forget! I’ll be fine! We’ll be fine.
Jelena: I don’t know, that was pretty devastating. I don’t think you’ll ever recover.
Zero: You set me up.
Jelena: You asked me to choose; I chose.
Raquel: What’s more important, Jude, protecting Oscar, or saving yourself?
(In limo, after Zero is implicated in a prostitution scandal)
Zero: She took my reputation. All my sponsors.
Jude: I’ll figure something out. We’ll fix it.
Zero: This is beyond fixing. I’ve lost everything.
Jude: Listen to me. Listen to me. I was Team Zero before, and I’m Team Zero now. We’re in this together. Okay? I would never leave you.
Zero: No, you wouldn’t; you never have. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jude.
(Zero lays his hand on Jude’s leg, Jude kisses him)
Zero: Jude!
2.09 Unguarded
(Jude kisses Zero in limo)
Zero: Jude! You’re gay!
Jude: What? I’m not gay.
Zero: You kissed me.
Jude: No I didn’t. Not like that. You were upset, I just . . .
Zero: You kissed me on the mouth. Jude, it’s cool. You’re barking up the wrong tree, but clearly barking.
Jude: I’m not barking at anything.
Zero: I gotta get on the plane. Jude, it’s fine. You’re gay. Be gay! (gets out of limo)
Jude (leans across seat to yell): I’m not gay!
Jude (re photoshoot): Hey! Why are you sitting there? This is Inside Sports Network, it’s the skin issue of their magazine. You’re supposed to be out there.
Zero: I’m knee deep in prostitutes. Thinking ‘naked and greased up’ isn’t the image I should be going with right now. Everyone else seems to agree.
Jude: I don’t care about everyone else. Business as usual is exactly the image you should be going with.
Jude (after speaking with photographer’s assistant): Get in there.
Zero: You sure you’re not doing this to get me naked?
Jude: Ha, ha.
Zero (taking off his shirt): Wanna oil me up?
Lionel: What have you been up to?
Jude (shares a look with Zero behind her back): Nothing.
Jude: Why aren’t you dressed? We have a Devils party to get to; everyone’s gonna be there.
Zero: I’m not really in a party mood.
Jude: This isn’t about chips and dip. This is the first step in rebuilding. Before the public can rally behind you, you need to get back in good with the players. You have no friends in the locker room; you need them. (Takes magazine out of Zero’s hand) I’m still your agent; you have to listen to me if we’re going to fix this.
Zero: You seem antsier than usual. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you have your own reasons to get to this party.
Jude: I maybe told someone I’d be there.
Zero: Who?
Jude: Danny, the photographer’s assistant from the shoot.
Zero (trying on Jude’s shirts): Do you have anything else?
Jude: You look pretty, let’s go. While there’s still a party to go to.
Zero: I’m sure Danny the photographer’s assistant will be fine.
Jude: Sounds like you’re jealous.
Zero: Really, Jude? What’s next, you gonna double dog dare me to go?
Jude: Do you not want to go to the party, or do you not want me to go to the party?
Zero: No one’s stopping you.
Jude: If I did kiss you on purpose in that car, and I’m not saying I did, it’s not because I was crazy, it’s not because I was going off of nothing. (Zero remains silent) Fine. You know what, have it your way. Danny’s waiting.
Zero (stops Jude with hand to his chest): You don’t even know the guy.
Jude: I’m about to.
(When Jude starts to leave again, Zero kisses him)
2.10 Steal
(Zero starts getting dressed immediately after they have sex)
Jude: So that’s it?
Zero: You seemed pretty satisfied a minute ago.
Jude: What are we doing?
Zero: Having a good time.
Jude: You’ve done this, had a good time, with a guy before?
Zero: I’ve been with men. And women. And men and women. It’s not deep, Jude, because I don’t make it deep. I don’t do relationships.
Jude: That’s funny, ‘cause it seemed the minute you met Jelena you were trying to lock her down.
Zero: That was part of the plan.
Jude: Falling for her wasn’t. Makes me wonder if you’re only here with me because you can’t be with her.
Zero: And that’s why I don’t do relationships. I can’t deal with conversations like this. The only thing that matters right now is busting open the rift between Derek and Terrence. We can keep having fun, or not, up to you.
Lionel: Drama free. Unless you’re seeing someone.
Jude: Actually, I am seeing someone. But they won’t care. They don’t seem to be the, uh, possessive type.
Lionel: You said ‘they’ twice. You’re playing the pronoun game. My brother played the pronoun game, wound up married to a gay biker in Providence. You’re loving on a guy.
Jude (considers whether he should tell her): Not a biker in Providence, but yeah, it’s a guy.
Lionel: Oh, you have to take me to the premiere now! You’re tolerable, you’re handsome, you’re not gonna try to get me into bed. You’re the perfect date.
(During an awful practice)
Pete (to Terrence and Derek): Something I should know about?
Terrence: What do you mean?
Pete: It’s dragging ass out there.
Lionel: I’m not interested in what turns you on, or anything else about you.
Oscar: You’ll be back. I tend to be right about these things.
Derek: Man, I got six parties I could be at, what’s so important?
Jude: Chase Vincent’s out of jail. The police are working on rebuilding their case against him, which means new digging.
Derek: You think they might find out about us and the coke?
Jude: Olivia was blackmailing both of us, the police will be double checking every napkin she ever scribbled on. Who knows what they’ll find. I don’t even have an alibi for the night she died. Do you?
Derek: No, I don’t.
Jude: Well, maybe we could help each other out. I could be your alibi, and you can be mine.
Derek: Cool.
Jude (notices Zero’s keys on the coffee table): We’ll figure out the details tomorrow.
(Zero steps out of the bathroom after Derek leaves)
Jude: I didn’t realize you were here.
Zero: I was in the shower. You just get in?
Jude: Yeah. Yeah. I’m gonna jump in the shower. Then we can celebrate that win.
(Zero’s calculating expression when Jude leaves indicates that he overheard his conversation with Derek)
2.11 Sudden Death
Jude: Pretty nasty rumor about Terrence.
Zero: No-o-ot a rumor.
Jude: You did this. What do you know?
Zero: Well, let’s just say, the Wall is coming down. Get it?
Jude (hesitates): Wouldn’t Derek be the better target? If Terrence is injured, isn’t Derek the bigger threat?
Zero: I don’t have anything on Derek.
Oscar (to Jelena): If I thought someone was making trouble for me, I might have to make trouble for them right back.
Jude: I can’t let him be taken down, Lionel; he’s my father.
Lionel: He is a sperm donor.
Zero: Hey, boss. Figured I’d get in a little extra practice. Maybe get you a fancy banner for the new arena.
Oscar: You’ll have to wait for Derek to finish his interview. Thanks to Terrence’s injury, there may be new king on the throne.
Oscar (to Kyle): I’m about to enter some tricky negotiations. I need to make sure they go my way.
Terrence: Somehow he heard we weren’t getting along so great.
(Derek looks like he knows how Zero might’ve found that out)
Jude: Derek, hey.
Derek: You and Zero.
Jude: What?
Derek: What did you promise him to get him to LA?
Jude: Promise? He signed a thirty million . . . .
Derek: He’s been playing me and Terrence against each other since day one. Why would he think he could do that? The only ones who knew how bad things were between me and T were me, T, and you.
Jude: Derek . . . .
Derek: You went from a desk jockey to his agent; from a bus pass to tooling around in a brand new Porsche with his name on the pink slip.
Jude: I’m good at my job.
Derek: Deny it again. (Jude remains silent) Does he know about the coke?
Jude: No. Derek, come on, this is, we need each other. You’re my alibi for Olivia, I’m yours.
Derek: Screw that.
Jude: Derek! I’m dealing with something right now, and if you take away my alibi on top of that, I’m under water.
Derek: Drown bitch.
Terrence (to Zero): Win or lose, when this is over, I’m gonna put my fist through your bleach blond head.
Sloane (to Lionel): You’re a deluded actress who’s convinced herself this role is hers.
Jude: I agonized over this, but I finally decided I have to tell you something, something that I’ve known about for a while and I should’ve told you sooner no matter what it cost me.
Oscar: I know.
Jude: You do?
Oscar: Before the ground breaking I had Olivia followed. I know she met with you. I assumed she was holding something over you, trying to get you to turn against me.
Jude: Yeah, but I never would have.
Oscar: The thing is, with Chase Vincent exonerated, anyone Olivia threatened becomes a suspect in her murder.
Jude: You think I killed Olivia?
Oscar: I don’t really know you, Jude, so I had you checked out. And now I know what she threatened you with. Your neighbor says you have a regular visitor, a gentleman. Apparently your walls are thin and the two of you are rather loud. If you thought confessing your secret gay life was going to bond us, then you know me about as well as I know you. Your mother was a simple woman who knew her limitations. She was too small for the big life I was making, so she gave up and moved on. You’ve been trying to take after me; you should try to take after her. You will never have my approval.
Jude: Dad, I . . . .
Oscar: I don’t have a son. I assume that’s all you came to say.
Jude: Yeah, that’s all.
Oscar: I knew someone was poking into my business; you I was not expecting.
Lionel: You need to be a better judge of character. There’s more going on under your nose than you realize. Oscar, you have a problem. As luck would have it, I have the exact same problem. And together we’re going to make it go away.
Jude: I don’t have a son. That’s how he said it, just like that. Like nothing. I keep reaching out to people, to you, Oscar. Just once, I want someone to reach back.
(Zero gets the red envelope out of the drawer, drops it on floor between Jude’s feet, and sits on the floor next to Jude)
Jude (picks up the envelope): You heard my conversation with Derek about the coke. You could’ve used it to hurt him, but you didn’t, ‘cause it would hurt me.
Zero: Don’t make a thing out of it. My folks gave me up. To foster parents who collected kids to collect the checks. You think I came up with Zero? That’s what they called me, zero. I kept it. I showed them how big zero could be.
Jude: What’s your real name?
Zero: I’m telling you this for a reason, okay. Just because people are supposed to care about you doesn’t mean they will. The sooner you forget about Oscar, the better off you’ll be.
Jude: You have no idea what I’ve done for that man.
2.12 Winner Takes All
Ahsha (to Jelena): You could stand to dance like it’s your last time, too. Everyone retires eventually.
Zero: Did you close any of those endorsement deals? I mean, negotiations are taking forever.
Jude: You’re still in PR jail. It’s gonna take more than the possibility of a championship to push the boulder up the hill. It’s gonna take more than a ring. If you want your life back, you need MVP.
Zero: You’re wound tight, even for you. Something happen today?
(Walking up sidewalk to Oscar and Lionel’s wedding)
Zero: Relax, you’re sweating through your suit.
Jude: Sorry, the last time I was here I was being disowned.
Zero: And now you’re Lionel’s special guest.
Girl (to Zero): Can I take your coat?
Jude: It’s a suit.
Girl: Or anything else?
Jude: He has crabs. Excuse me.
Lionel: Maybe I put myself on the edge of a cliff so someone would have to come save me, like I’ve always saved them.
Pete: I’m sorry, Lionel, but I cannot save you from this one.
Lionel: Well, then, the wedding’s about to start.
Jude: This is messed up, you realize that, right? The fact that this is the first conversation we’re having about this is a sing of how truly messed up this is. What the hell are you thinking?
Lionel: That this is an awfully short aisle.
Oscar: Sometimes when someone asks you to marry them, you just can’t say no.
Lionel: You look dapper, too. I’m sorry about not signing the pre-nup. My pen just ran out of in.
Oscar: Of course. Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?
Lionel: I do.
Lionel (to Oscar): I’ll call your lawyer, don’t worry! (Winks at Jude)
Lionel: Thank you for being so cooperative, Sloane. For coming to a wedding you shouldn’t have been invited to, for stealing a microphone I couldn’t have hidden in plainer sight, and for getting rid of Oscar for who knows how long.
Lionel (to Sloane): If it were up to me, I would let Oscar devour you.
(In locker room after game)
Jude: Congratulations. You’re number two.
Zero: I didn’t come here to be some schmuck on a team. I came here to be the star; that’s what you promised me. Instead, I lost everything.
Jude: You can’t blame me for that. You were the one who got caught with your pants down, on more than one occasion.
Zero: Are you still angry about that girl I flirted with at the wedding?
Jude: What makes you think that?
Zero: I lied to everyone else but you. I told you I don’t do relationships.
Jude: No. You don’t do relationships with guys. I do. You know how I know? Because I want one. With you. After the game, all I wanted to do was kiss you. And what would you have done? You would’ve freaked. Not because people would think you were gay, or bi, or whatever you are, but because they would see an ounce of anything real from you. You’re so full of crap. One disguise after another. You’re buried so deep in there, you don’t even know yourself.
Zero: You just figured out you’re gay, or whatever . . . .
Jude: Not ‘or whatever’.
Zero: . . . and you’re coming down on me?
Jude: You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m mad. Mad at myself. Mad at this situation. Mad that I need something from you. Mad that . . . I can’t get it. Most of all, I’m mad that there’s nothing I can do about anything. (Turns to leave)
Zero (stops him): Where are you going? You’re my agent.
Jude: I’m done settling for percentages. Percentages of my father, percentages of you. I want it all, and I can’t stick around waiting for it. (Walks away)
Zero: Gideon.
Jude (stops, turns): What?
Zero: That’s my name. Gideon.
Jude (smiles): I would love to take Gideon on a date. To a public place. And listen to him tell me exactly who he is. If you want that, give me a call sometime.
Season Three
(4 months later, Zero calls Jude to photoshoot)
Zero: Jude, glad you came.
Jude: Yeah, I’d hate to have missed this.
Zero: Two titles and suddenly sin is in. I’ve got a beer campaign tomorrow, Trojan commercial in the afternoon, and this is my new underwear line. What do you think?
Jude: I can’t help but notice there’s only girls in the picture.
Zero: I’m all the man it needs.
Jude: Looks like you’re killing it. Congratulations.
Zero: We could be killing it together. That’s why I called you here. I want you to be my agent again, help me rake in al this cash.
Jude: I know what you want.
Zero: it’s business, Jude. Unless you don’t think you can keep it just business. I’m making more money than ever. This would be huge for you.
Jude: You should have them put more bronzer on you. There’s only so much photoshop can do. (Walks away)
Zero: You didn’t say no!
Jude: I didn’t say yes, either!
Jude: I can’t be your agent.
Zero: Why not?
Jude: Lionel offered me a job with The Devils.
Zero: That’s why you won’t work with me?
Jude: I’ve always wanted to be a part of The Devils. She offered me EVP. I can’t turn it down.
Zero: EVP. That’d make you my boss. That’s hot.
Jude: What are you saying?
Lionel: I’m saying, get back in there, hike up your skirt, and get that guy what he wants. Buy him drinks, you charm him, you take it from there.
Jude: I don’t charm people, okay, I’m not a charmer. This is ridiculous.
Lionel: This is Derek Roman’s deal, now you put on your big girl panties and you figure it out.
(Zero interrupts Jude’s ‘meeting’ with Lucas)
Zero: What?
Jude: We both know what you just did and why you did it. You won’t be with me the way I want, but you don’t want me with anyone else.
Jude (to Lucas): I’ve never been to that bar. I always wanted to go with my ex, but . . . Well, he’s not really my ex, we were never really together. I mean, we were together . . .
Jude (to Lucas): This guy, he was everything to me. I was in love with him before I even knew what love was. Something blinds you like that, it takes a while for your eyes to adjust again, ‘til you can see anything else, you know?
Jude (re Oscar): I’m not gonna let him use me like that. I’m not gonna be an afterthought.
Zero: I can’t even imagine you being an afterthought. I think about you first all the time.
Jude: You’re the most screwed up person I’ve ever met. And the only person that makes me feel normal.
(Getting dressed after they have sex in the coat closet)
Zero: I missed you, Jude.
Jude: I missed you, too.
Zero: Should I leave first, or should you? (Sees Jude’s face) What? What did I do?
Jude: It’s not what you did, it’s what I did. What I keep doing. Nothing’s changed. It’s the same old story.
Zero: What are you talking about?
Jude: I’m still your secret! Something you have to hide.
Zero: You’re being dramatic.
Jude: We’re literally in a closet together. Unless you have something new to offer me, leave me alone. If you care about me at all, stay away.
Zero: I love you! Alright. I-I love you, stupid.
Jude: I love you, too. But even still, it doesn’t matter. Love isn’t enough. I need someone I can actually be with, like a normal person. Someone whose able to be there for me in evyer way. Can you? Can you do that?
Zero: no.
(Lucas tells Zero he slept with Jude, and that he’s planning to stand him up)
Lucas: Jude’s used to disappointment. He’ll be fine.
(On basketball court right after game)
Jude: I can’t talk now, I’m meeting someone.
Zero: Lucas isn’t coming.
Jude: Why not?
Zero: ‘Cause I told him not to.
(Zero kisses Jude)
(Talking about reporters wanting interviews while lying in bed)
Zero: Every move I’ve ever made has been planned out in advance. Kissing you, was not. But it’s all going to have to wait.
Jude: Why?
Zero: Because I’m busy.
(They kiss)
Jude: I know you’re pissed. And I don’t blame you. You did this amazing thing for me, and I never thought about how it would affect you, too. I get why you would regret being with me.
Zero: I don’t regret being with you. I regret letting everyone else in on it. I liked it when it was just us. I don’t like losing that.
Jude: You haven’t. Everything we’re going through is only gonna make more of us, not less. We’re still in this together. It’s still just you and me.
Zero: For two people who are in it together, I sure am alone in this tub.
(Zero takes selfie of him and Jude in tub)
Jude (re reporters): Now you’re just goading them.
Zero: Yes, yes I am.
Lionel: I’m so happy Jude’s found love. I didn’t think it would be with you.
Zero: Me either.
Lionel: If you hurt him, I’ll drive my car so far up your ass you’ll taste wiper fluid. Great party.
Jude: You want to cash in on coming out without actually coming out.
Zero: Were we at the same party?
Jude: I don’t mean coming out as gay, I mean coming out as Gideon. People care about your story.
(Outside Zero’s childhood foster home)
Jude: You’re strong, you can handle this. (Zero makes a face) You don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this.
Zero: I didn’t say that.
Jude: Unbelievable. (Gets out of car and stomps up to house)
Zero: I have feelings.
Jude: So.
Zero: So, I control them so they don’t control me.
Jude: They’re controlling you now.
Zero: I’m not gonna lose it, Jude. Especially not in front of you.
Jude: Especially? Why?
Zero: Because you might not like what you see.
(Jude goes out to car to get sledgehammer, goads Zero into smashing the place up to let off steam)
(Jude sets up doubles double date with board member Marcus)
Zero: You want me to be the little wifey?
Jude: More like the big bad baller.
Zero (re tennis ability): I never said I was good.
Jude: Marcus is gonna meet with the board.
Zero: Wifey came through.
Jude: Wifey came through.
(Zero tells Jude why he can’t intrude on his sister’s life)
Zero: Besides, I realized, I already have a family. You.
(Zero finds out he’s been traded)
Zero (to Jude): We’ll find a better house wherever we wind up. You’ll run that town.
(Jude says he can’t leave because of Lionel)
Zero: Well, if I have to go, and you have to stay, where does that leave us?
3.11 ‘Til Death Do Us Part (Summer Special):
Detective: You have quite the history with Miss Howard, huh? Some of it pretty public.
Zero: Find somebody who didn’t have history with her.
Detective: You seem tense.
Jude: I always seem tense, but I’m fine.
Detective: Word from the hospital; it looks like Miss Howard is gonna pull through.
Zero: Too bad whoever did it wasn’t a better shot.
Oscar: Lionel, thank you for coming.
Lionel: I’d say ‘my pleasure’, but if we don’t have honesty, what do we have?
Oscar (to Lionel re Jelena): I probably would’ve shot her before the end of the night, but regrettably, someone beat me to it.
Oscar: I expect you to clear that up now.
Lionel: Well, I would, but I’m not feeling particularly generous towards you right now.
Oscar: What do you want to make your story go away?
Lionel: A divorce. And leave me alone. And leave Jude alone.
Oscar (to Lionel): Pete’s a fool.
(Zero casually leans against stall while Jude is showering)
Jude: New haircut!
Zero: Are you singing?
Jude: Humming. With Jelena sidelined, your trade wasn’t completed. You’re staying a Devil.
Zero: You don’t say.
Jude: I told you last night; no one can split this team up.
(Jude pulls Zero into the shower for some hot shower sex)
(Looking over blueprints for the house renovation in Jude’s office; Zero is nuzzling Jude’s neck)
Jude: The fireplace will go here, the guest room will go here, here, and here. And the baby’s room will go here.
Zero (stops nuzzling): What, the what?
Jude (chuckles): Just seeing if you’re paying attention.
Jelena (from doorway): Where does the vomitorium go?
Jelena: I could’ve sworn I traded you.
Zero: Almost. Timing’s everything.
Jelena: Lucky you. I hope you like being demoted to team bitch. I’ll make you a t-shirt.
Jelena: You’re good, Jude. You were the only one with your head in the game when I was buying up the team. I’m keeping you on. You’ll be working for me.
Zero: What the hell just happened?
Jude: Jelena’s back, that’s what happened.
Zero: I don’t know anything about a 24-hour deadline.
Detective: No, you might not, but Jude would. How well do you really know Oscar Kinkade’s son?
Zero: Well enough to know he’s not Oscar Kinkade.
Detective: How’d he grow up?
Zero: With nothing.
Detective: And right before Jelena Howard got shot, that’s exactly what he thought he was left with. No Devils, no you.
Zero: You’ve got the wrong guy.
Jude: Hey. I was just meeting with the contractor. The house is a war zone. With all this work Jelena dumped on me I’m lucky I get there at all.
Zero: You don’t have to take all that on, you know.
Jude: You gave me a house; I wanna give you a home. Everything you’ve done for me, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.
Lionel: Thank you for sticking by me, Jude. Making sure I was okay. I may no longer be your step-mom, but I will always be your hag.
Jude: My hag?
Lionel: Jude, do I have to teach you everything gay?
Zero (approaches): Lionel.
Lionel: You two are so adorable together. I just want to eat your faces. Seriously. I need booze.
Jude (re next season): I hope we’ll be living in our new house by then.
Zero: Yeah, me too. I came up with a new story for you to tell the police. I’ll tell it, too, so you won’t have to worry about anything.
Jude: A new story for what?
Zero: The night Jelena was shot.
Jude: Why would I need a new story? (Zero gives him a look) Wait, you think I would shoot someone?
Zero: I kn–, I know that there’s nothing that you wouldn’t do for me.
Jude: You think I would shoot someone for you?
Zero: No. Maybe. I thought . . .
Jude: You would’ve lied for me?
Zero: Yeah, yeah. That’s what we do, we lie for each other. You’ve been playing catch-up your whole life because somebody left you; I’d never do that to you. No matter what.
Jude: You’re the single greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, Gideon.
Zero: You too, stupid. (Jude smiles) You’re the single greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, too, Jude.
(Jude smiles bigger and kisses Zero)
Jelena (to Jude, Zero & Kyle): All the jockeying to rule this town; me and Terrence, me and you, Derek and Ahsha – in the end you and Jude wound up King and King of LA. But make no mistake, I’m still Queen. Devil’s Nation, rise up.
ETA: Updated S2 quotes 8/13/16; will update S3 quotes once I get the eps in my hot little hands.
ETA2: Added quotes from ep 3.11 9/7/16.
